Boundaries for People Who Care Deeply
The people who most need boundaries are usually the ones most afraid that boundaries will make them cold.
In practice, the opposite is true. Boundaries are what make sustained compassion possible.
A boundary is a description, not a demand
It states what you will do, not what another person must do. That distinction removes most of the conflict people fear.
- "I answer messages after seven, not during dinner."
- "I can take one extra shift this month, not three."
- "I can listen tonight; I cannot solve this tonight."
Expect discomfort, not disaster
The first few boundaries feel wrong precisely because they are new. Discomfort is not evidence that you have done harm.
If your care has begun to cost you more than it gives, that is worth a conversation.